Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
