im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
