Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
