my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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