This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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