the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
