And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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