You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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