I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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