That's intense
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
