what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
