apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
