whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
