i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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