well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
