I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
