lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
