im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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