If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
