you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
