Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
