VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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