i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
