I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
