just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
