We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize