I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
