I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
