She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
