If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the day after is always just damage control
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She's the barista slut.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
