I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize