He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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