At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
