some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
