I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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