Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it because I queefed?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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