i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize