Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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