My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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