FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
