We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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