guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
