I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
