Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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