Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
