never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
