I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
