can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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