Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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