do herpes really smell.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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