God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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