and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
