Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
