so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
