I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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