woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
