69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
