the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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