i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
