And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
